Hillbilly Report

Pike County, Kentucky Residents Still Carry Water In Buckets.

Hillbilly Report
Glendale, Kentucky
http://www.hillbillyreport.com/
June 15, 2007
Mark Twain is reported to have said that "when the end of the world comes I want to be in Kentucky, because there it will come 20 years later."
Mark Twain was almost right. I suggest that since some people in Pike County, Kentucky still have to carry their water in 5 gallon buckets, the world might come to an end 75 years later in Pike County Kentucky.
The benefit to this is the citizens of Pike County might be around 75 years longer than the rest of us, maybe, but they will still be packing their water in 5 gallon buckets if they can still carry that big of a load!
Reckon Preacher Ernie Fletcher has prayed for these folks, if so why wasn't the prayer answered?
I suggest  Preacher Ernie Fletcher didn't listen to the answer to his prayer, if he said one or if he got one.
There's a lot of Jesus talk, here in Kentucky, but not much evidence of his compassion!!!!! 

Is Elizabethtown, Kentucky Living In The Past?

Hillbilly Report
Glendale, Kentucky
http://www.hillbillyreport.com/
June 15, 2007
Mark Twain is reported to have said that "when the end of the world comes I want to be in Kentucky, because there it will come 20 years later."
Mark Twain was almost right. I suggest that since Elizabethtown has had a population larger than the state constitution prescribes for a fourth-class city for 50 years (since 1957) the world might come to an end 50 years later in Elizabethtown, Kentucky.  That should be good news for the 4th class city Restaurant Tax proponents. This will allow them to collect a 4th class city Restaurant Tax, in a 2nd class city, fifty years after the end of the world.

Mitch McConnell, The Old Kentucky Homo?

Hillbilly Report
Glendale, Kentucky
March 30, 2007
Last night I came upon a blog called Down With Tyranny and read a post called THERE SHE GOES AGAIN-- THE OLD KENTUCKY HOMO ONLY KNOWS HOW TO DO ONE THING: OBSTRUCT, OBSTRUCT, OBSTRUCT. Does Down With Tyranny know something we don’t know? 

The Vagina Monologues Hoohaa Brouhaha – How will it Be Handled In Elizabethtown Kentucky?

Hillbilly Report
Feb, 18, 2007
Elizabethtown, Kentucky
The Vagina Monologues is opening, in Elizabethtown, Kentucky Feb. 24, 2007.
Earlier this year, a production of the play at the Atlantic Theaters in Atlantic Beach, Florida changed the title to the "Hoohaa Monologues" after a complaint from a passing driver who became upset because her niece had seen "vagina" on the theater marquee. The word "vagina" was only restored by the theater once it became clear that rights to the play were granted only if the production was not subject to censorship.
It’s gonna be interesting to see what happens with the State Theater Marquee here in Elizabethtown, Kentucky. Stay tuned.

Senator Brownback Sends An Email And The Hillbilly Ask Questions

Hillbilly Report
Jan. 23, 2007
Questions From The Hillbilly
This is an excerpt of an email sent by Senator Brownback, playing his Jesus card!!!!!!!!
Dear Fellow Conservative,
I’ve sent YOU this urgent email message because I was told that just like me you are a pro-life, pro-traditional marriage, God-fearing American.
Is that correct?
If it’s NOT then you might as well just go ahead and delete this message now.

This Hillbilly has a questions for Senator Brownback:
Are fellow conservative Jesus talkers like Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, Jack Abramoff, Robert Ney, Duke Cunningham,Pat Robertson and Curt Weldon on your email list?
Senator Brownback why don’t you apply for the pastor’s job at Bellevue Baptist Church?

Mr. Brownback would you please ask Senator Mitch McConnell to see a dentist?

One more thing Mr. Brownback, I’ve had enough of your holier than thou BULLSH**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Hillbilly

Morgan Wilkins At It Again??

Hillbilly Report
Jan. 16, 2007
Will former Leadership Institute field representative and noted College Republican, Keith Olbermann’s “Worst Person In The World”, Morgan Wilkins announce her campaign for Kentucky Federation of College Republicans Chairman in the coming weeks? A website, www.MorganWilkins.com, has been registered, and a greeting at the site promises a full launch soon. Stay tuned.

Is Bellevue Baptist A Mega Church With Mega Problems?

Questions that need to be answered:

• Have church members been denied a copy of the church’s bylaws?

• Has Dr. Steve Gaines called his opponents kooks, cowards or servants of Satan?

• Did Dr. Gaines and three other men (possibly deacons) climb a gated community fence to confront (with an unannounced visit) Mark Sharpe a former deacon, who questioned Gaines about his compensation and other administration matters?

• Did Dr. Steve Gaines tell  Mark Sharpe that he was “Hezbollah” and sending people to hell by his actions?

• Was Dr. Steve Gaines aware a minister on staff had allegedly committed rape, homosexuality, child molestation, sodomy, as well as incest, for six months before taking action?

• Will Dr. Steve Gaines resign, book passage on the Delta Queen, and sail down the Mississippi where there is plenty of Christian work he can do?

• Will Dr. Steve Gaines take the advice of Michael Reagan, Michael Spradlin?

• Is Bellevue paying Dr. Steve Gaines $500, 000 per year plus benefits?

• Did Dr. Steve Gaines use a church credit card for his own use?