Moms

MOMS
by james pence
We come into this world kicking, screaming and demanding attention, and our mothers tired from carrying us for nine months and giving birth, sooth us, feed us, assure us and give us the attention we need.
For the next twenty to thirty years our mothers take care of us in every way imaginable. We make messes that make fathers sick, but mom is always there to clean up after us. As we grow older mom will have to become an expert in many fields. Baseball, basketball, soccer and any other sport we wish to participate in. A taxi cab driver to haul us, and our friends, to our extra curricular activities. Music teacher to help us with the musical instruments we have chosen to play. A schoolteacher to help us with homework.  A supervisor to keep us on the right path. A psychologist to keep our confidence up. Inventory control specialist with the ability to keep the proper amount of food and other household needs on hand, at the lowest possible cost. Bookkeeper, with the ability to keep track of the household finances and pay all bills in a timely manner. Drill Sergeant, to keep everyone in line. Actress with the ability to act happy even when she is not. A nurse, to take care of us when we are sick. Family spiritual leader to see we attend church every Sunday. Interior decorator for the home, with experience in painting and wallpapering. Maid with the ability to do windows, mop and vacuum floors and all the other cleaning chores that nobody else wants to do. A laundry expert with the ability to remove any conceivable stain, from our clothing.  Extra sensual perception, with the ability to read our minds. Gourmet and short order cook, with the ability to make great desserts. A seamstress with the ability to make and repair any type of clothing. Veterinarian with the ability to take care of any animal we drag home. A warden with the guts to ground us when we go astray. A janitor to clean all the bathroom accessories. A magician with the ability to pull anything we need out of her purse.
So the next time you crawl into your bed with clean sheets, dry off with a clean towel, after showering, sit down to a good home cooked meal, put on clean clothes, remember these things were made possible by mom’s loving hands. Moms have a way to make us feel special. Mom will always love us no matter how good or bad we are.
Mom is there when we take our first step and to teach us how to tie our shoes and by the way, Mom has to put up with dad, who will always be her biggest baby.
The Hillbilly